Posts Tagged ‘asher’

My Sweet, Delicate Flowers

February 23, 2010

Overheard at the EK house:

Son #2: “Ewww what is that? Is it poop?”

Daughter: “No, it’s boogers.”

Son #1: “Are you going to eat it?”

Daughter: “No, that’s GROSS! I’m going to wipe it on the couch.”


Tinkerbelle, Indiana Jones & The Red Dragon Ninja

November 4, 2009

We’re an eclectic family 🙂

Vodpod videos no longer available.
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Well Whaddaya Know . . . It Works

August 28, 2009

Years and years ago, when my boys were babies and we were living in what can only be described as a hovel in Monsey, New York,  we had no money and I hadn’t slept in like 2 years and my oldest was a really high-maintenance person and not doing one damn thing the “books” said he should be doing and my baby was, well, a baby and most days I thought I might just drive everyone into the river.  And due to some sort of cosmic alignment I stumbled upon a parenting class taught by an amazing woman named Aviva Schwab.  It’s called STEP, and it saved our lives.  We were never the same (in the best way possible).  This stuff is not a quick fix; it’s a way of life.  Seriously.  So we sometimes have moments of “OMG I’m losing my mind is this ever really going to work?”  Aaaaaand here you go:

Scenario: the kitchen table at homework time.  Asher asks for help with part of his “ariyot”, a Hebrew book.  I help him understand the directions for the homework, and then notice a piece of homework he did for his general studies teacher.  It was a mess.  The handwriting was awful (very unlike him) and he had drawn pictures all over it (also unlike him).   We are really SUPER hands-off about homework – I never check their work or their agenda (only if they ask), and we don’t rescue our kids if they really mess up or forget their work.  They know this, and we’ve explained to them why we feel this is important.  But this was so unlike him, I forgot myself for a moment and casually mentioned that at his age and in his grade he was probably expected to turn something in that was a bit neater and legible.

Fast forward a few hours: I’m in bed catching up on some blogs, when Asher comes in to my room and says, “Can I talk to you about something?”  Of course I say sure.  He says, “Mommy, I didn’t appreciate your comments about my homework for Mrs. Perry.  I really don’t want you to check my homework, because it’s my homework and my responsibility and I should be able to do it the way I want and if I mess up I’ll learn from that but maybe Mrs. Perry will like my pictures and you never know so can you please not comment or check my homework?  Thanks.”

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I managed to say, “Sure babycakes, I apologize.  You’re so right – I shouldn’t have made that comment.  It is your homework and I know you’re a responsible guy.”  Hugs all around, and then Asher went to bed.

Aviva, my friend, na’ase v’nishma 😉

Overheard This Morning

July 6, 2009

Shayna is walking around the house, in her underwear, pushing her doll stroller with the doll in it (upside down, of course), singing to herself.

“My brother-er-ers helped me get orange juice this morning, this morning, this morning.  oh yea-ah.  one of them likes thunder a-and one of them doesn’t.  oh yea-ah oh yea-ah.  we are going to the pool later, Baby Jordan [the doll], a-and Savta’s coming, she’s coming ’round the mountain to go to Purvis Park with u-u-us.”

Boys from the family room:  “Shayna!  We’re watching Wimbledon!  Be quiet!”



Ah, sibling love 😉

Saba’s a Useful Guy

May 30, 2009

Joshua relayed the following conversation he had with our second son Asher, 8 1/2.  They were talking about David Cook’s brother who died of brain cancer.  Joshua said that some people recover from cancer, and some people don’t.  My father (Saba) had cancer when Asher was born, and thank God is still here with us today.  He is very involved with his grandchildren and loves to do hands-on projects with them, and he and Asher built a birdhouse for our yard a number of years ago.  He also fixes just about everything that breaks in our house.

Josh: Some people die, and some people recover.  Like Saba.  He had cancer, but he recovered and does not have any more cancer.

Asher:  That’s good.  He’s a useful guy.


Repost: Proud Parenting Moments

April 28, 2009


So we were in Target the other day, and a large crowd of women in black burkas came into the store with their children. These were the very traditional burkas, covering the women from head to toe with just their eyes showing. I thought, “Great! An opportunity to share cultural and religious differences and promote tolerance with my kids!”

Both boys promptly shouted,  loudly, “Mom! Look at the ninjas!”

My cup runeth over.

Soccer Mom!

April 20, 2009

Asher had his very first soccer game yesterday – it is our first foray into team sports.  He is in love.  And so ridiculously cute in his uniform.



November 9, 2008

Overheard in the Caruso house while Lev was having a huge hissy fit upstairs:

Abba to Asher who was sitting in the living room: “So, not a good time to go upstairs, huh.”

Asher: “Yeah, but, you know, he’s my brother and I respect him.”

Lice . . . Good Times.

October 17, 2008

Oldest Son, 10, totally hysterical: “OH MY GOD!  There are bugs in my hair?  OH MY GOD!  I’m freaking out get them out of my hair OH MY GOD I’m freaking out get them out of my hair now!!!!!

Second Son, 8, also rather hysterical: “OH MY GOD EWWW oh no will we have to shave my head???? I don’t want to shave my head no no no!!!”

Daughter, 4/2, laughing: “OH MY GOODNESS!!! This is SO COOL!  I have BUGS in my hair Mommy!!  I can’t wait to tell Morah Julie [pre-k teacher] about my bugs!!! I’m going to name them!”

I couldn’t make this shit up.

The Boy Scout Talk

June 8, 2008

A number of the families in my second son’s class have formed a Jewish Cub Scout troop, as a way to have organized father-son activities, and as a way to get the boys to channel their energies into something productive and, in many cases, “mitzvahdik” (earning chesed badges, etc.).  Not sure why they needed to make it officially BSA (Boy Scouts of America), but they did.

Asher came home with the flyer, and informed us that his 2 best friends were doing this, and he wanted to do this with his Abba too.

Josh and I just looked at each other with that parental “I guess we have to have THIS conversation now” look.

BSA has been in the press in recent years for its refusal to include gay men in their leadership, and going so far as to expel “out” BSA members who publicly admit to being gay. I’m sure I could link to any number of articles about this in order to show I am not making this up, but you all know how to use Google.  And as this is a personal post, not an academic or professional journal, I am not taking the time to find the links for you at this moment.  I’ll link to some articles when I have time.

I can’t imagine what occurs when a child, hoping for a safe environment, tries to confide in a troop leader, but I’m hoping the adults who lead individual troops have compassion and understanding for boys who are trying to make sense of themselves.

As the BSA is a private, religious organization, we believe they have the right to set their own rules.  Even if we think those rules are wrong on some very deep levels.  However, we do not have to support them.  And so this is what we explained to Asher.  He is old enough to grasp this.  Our belief is that the BSA is discriminatory in the same way that blacks and Jews have been discriminated against.  Biblical arguments, moral arguments, all have been used in history to justify discrimination of blacks and Jews, and now gay people.  We believe this is fundamentally wrong, and by allowing our son (and my husband) to participate in, and pay dues to, the BSA, we are saying “we’ll look the other way.”  There were many people in history that stood up for Jews and for blacks, and now it is our turn to stand up for those we feel are being wronged.

We explained this to him, and we had a really meaningful family discussion about this, and bigotry in general.  We have always taken our kids out of school on a special day in May, when a rally is held every year in our state capitol, in order to lobby for GLBT advocacy.  So this topic, and our feelings about it, is not a new one.  But connecting it with not participating in this activity was a big step, and one that we are proud our son has embraced.  He is disappointed, for sure.  But he really “got it”.  I’ll be interested to see how he explains this to his friends on Wednesday when he returns to school, and I’ll be interested in their reactions.

I am sad that we had to have this conversation with him.  I am sad there is so much hatred and bigotry in the world.  I am sad that he is unable to reap the benefits of belonging to a boys-only “troop” and having that sense of camaraderie and responsibility that I know is a hallmark of the BSA.  I’m sure we’ll find other outlets, I’m sure my husband and my sons will get their father-son time in.  But I’m still sad.  And I ache for the boys and young men who are gay, who may be struggling and suffering, who do not have strong, responsible role models to whom they can turn for guidance, comfort and understanding.